this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
