What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
