Me. At least after what I've been through.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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