buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
