We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
