She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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