...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
