how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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