I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm too high and old for this...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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