This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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