did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
