I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
