Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
