I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
