that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
