am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
