He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
pray to the hookup gods
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
