Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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