New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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