i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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