So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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