Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
