Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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