question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
