You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
where are my eyebrows?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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