He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
