I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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