Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize