Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He did a backflip because drugs
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