That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
