billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
