It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
