Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize