You work out of a Hotel?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
