Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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(910): View more from North Carolina

just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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(817): View more from Texas

He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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(347): View more from New York

Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me

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(440): View more from Ohio

You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Wish me luck on my new penis adventure

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