Who did Billy Mays play for?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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