all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
