oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
