I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize