Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
