Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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