I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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