So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
