At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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