I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
