You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
