I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize