so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
