i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
