Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
