At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
