My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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