It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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