Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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