Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
