he puts the penis in happiness.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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