butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
